burn(out) the candle at both ends

via Pinterest

Whew. What day is it? Recently I started to feel extra tired. Like beyond the usual #momlife, "give me coffee" tired. It reminded me of my first year after welcoming my second daughter, when I felt so overextended that I jokingly fantasized to friends about being admitted to a hospital for exhaustion for a few days so that I could recuperate and regain strength, just like the celebrities. And I am a relatively resourced person! I cannot imagine how mothers are faring during pandemic times without any help. (Or during non-pandemic times for that matter.) But burnout is real and even as I am guilty writing about it, I am trying to be nonjudgemental. And not beat myself up. And give myself some time to pause. I haven't been exercising as much, or being as productive with my writing as I would like in the last couple of weeks. And that's OK.

It certainly doesn't help that, like everyone else apparently, I've been partaking in some "Revenge Bedtime Procrastination." According to an article in Glamour, last June writer Daphne K. Lee introduced the term to Twitter as “a phenomenon in which people who don’t have much control over their daytime life refuse to sleep early in order to regain some sense of freedom during late night hours.”

Story. Of. My. Life.

I've always been a night owl, and I'm totally a Revenge Bedtime Procrastinator in recent years. My plan for combating it? First, I am not going to fight it. I'm going to allow myself this unfortunately self-sabotaging practice, at least for the time being. And when I can muster the strength (send the celeb vitamin B IV drips over! JK) I will try to carve out a few minutes each day, just for myself. A walk with a podcast, taking the time to read an article, whatever it may be. I'll do my best. And eventually, I'll feel energetic again. Or at least not on the verge of medical intervention.

AES