Keep your eyes on the road

image via Pinterest/Audrey Morgan

When I first moved to Connecticut a few years ago, I wasn't all that comfortable driving. But alas, commuting is a staple of suburban life. Upon moving to the burbs, I wanted to put myself out there, integrate myself into my new community and make friends. So I went to a newcomers book club gathering just a few days after moving to New Canaan. However, it was a nighttime meeting at a restaurant in town, and by the time our dinner wrapped it was dark. And as I've lamented multiple times, there are no street lights around here; it gets pitch black. Being new to the neighborhood, I had no idea where I was going. I needed to use my navigation to make my way home just seven minutes away. I did it scared, and it was worth it.

Now I'm comfortable driving around town, blasting Alanis and my beloved Bridge Sirius station, but I still rarely drive out of New Canaan - especially at night. However, I recently saw an event listing for an author talk in Bedford - around 25 minutes away - featuring two of my favorite writers, Annabel Monaghan and Zibby Owens. The two would be discussing "how to survive the writing life" and Zibby would be debuting her new novel, Blank.

I couldn't miss it. I texted a local author friend, asking her to join (and potentially drive), but she was busy. I considered dragging Hubs along. But then I realized, I needed to be brave. I needed to make the drive, and if I felt scared, so be it.

I drove to Bedford in the dark, and I drove back home in pitch black. I couldn't see past the little bit of roadway the headlights illuminated; I was practically venturing into the unknown. But also, I knew I'd make it there and back.

It was so worth the drive, hearing Annabel and Zibby speak and provide writing advice. I spoke with both authors after. I had already met Annabel twice before (yes, I am a groupie), and I got to introduce myself to Zibby and tell her how much I loved her memoir, and thank her for all that she does - which is SO much. I also told her about my upcoming children's book and all of my writing aspirations, and she was so gracious and supportive. It was such a special moment, and I felt so fulfilled leaving the event, new book and swag in hand.

When I made it home, Liv greeted me and we chatted as I chowed on leftovers and Newman's Own mint Oreos. I told her about the event, and she confessed she was feeling nervous about presenting a book review in class the next day. We spoke about being brave.

That night I thought about the writer life I'm embarking on, and how it feels a bit like driving at night on country roads. There's no lit, easy path. It feels huge and frightening. And yet, it feels like the necessary thing to do. The next step my true self yearns for. I got this. As long as I keep venturing out and doing it, even scared, I'll make it.

AES