Forgive and Don't Forget

Image by Victoria Wall Harris via pamelasalzman.com

Yom Kippur, also known as the Day of Atonement, is the holiest day of the year in Judaism. It was a couple of days ago, and Hubs and I celebrated by eating homemade challah at 11pm. (Yes, I made challah from scratch. It was a Yom Kippur miracle.)

Yom Kippur's central theme is atonement, asking for forgiveness. I think it's also about forgiving. I happened to catch a “Gathering Room” by Martha Beck via social media over the holiday. Coincidentally, Beck led a discussion on self-forgiveness. She provided so much wisdom, as always. What struck me most were Beck's instructions for feeling unstuck and for helping our kids to feel at ease.

A lot of our suffering, or furies, come from our consciousnesses trying to wake us up. Here's an example: You're sitting around on a day off, or even a day on, thinking "I'm not doing enough." You're frustrated and pissed at yourself. You're feeling pretty pained. Well that's all BS. If a fury is making you feel pained and trapped, it's a lie. So: tell yourself the opposite. "I am doing enough!" Sit with that freeing notion. Thank your suffering for waking you up. Bless and release. Peace out.

We're all just babies doing our best. How sweet are newborns? We're still those same little people. Except now we have mortgages. Have compassion for yourself. This is easier said than done, for me at least. But, it's imperative. Beck wisely explained during the Gathering Room that our children don't feel better when we tell them they're OK. They feel OK when we're OK. Read that again. If they see that we're OK, then they'll feel OK. We need to fix ourselves, not try to fix them. They treat themselves the way we treat ourselves. We need to be kind to ourselves, to self-forgive. And then: the kids will be alright. Me? I'm a work in progress ;)

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