Driving Miss Amy

Image via Dave and Les Jacobs/Getty Images

Lately little Mia has been saying "I did it!" when she does things like jumping off a step or going down the slide by herself. She also showers me with encouragement: "You did it! Good job Mommy!" It's pretty adorable and makes accomplishing even mundane tasks feel pretty joyful. Mia is reminding me to appreciate my own hard work and achievements. We're all so hard on ourselves. Let's celebrate our wins. I'm trying to adopt Mia's enthusiasm and generous praise for the accomplishments of myself and others.

One high for me lately is my newfound affinity for... driving. If you know me, this is shocking. I was terrified to drive before we moved to the suburbs. I still am. I got in a bad car accident during college and I've been spooked ever since. Thankfully I was OK, as was the kind judge I crashed into.

I drove a few times after college. A little bit when I was staying at my mom's in NJ after moving back East and I was desperate to get to the city. (Fun fact: One night I drove to my friend Justin's apartment to enjoy his mom's homemade lasagna with him, while he studied for the bar exam. Now he's Hubs!) I started driving in earnest, somewhat, last year in Hoboken. Short trips to the Trader Joe's uptown and slightly longer rides to Liv's swim class in Jersey City. Often I would say to Liv, "You doing OK?" But really I was checking in with myself.

Fast forward to deliberating about moving to the burbs. I was a little wary of the whole having-to-drive-everywhere situation. It doesn't help that our town is PITCH BLACK at night, with zero street lamps. So far I've driven in the dark once, and during a pretty bad downpour once. The windshield fogged up and I panicked and forgot how to defrost. It was a bit anxiety-producing; eventually I figured it out.

I tell my girls that being brave is "being scared but doing it anyway." I've been being brave. My driving mantra lately has been iterations of "I’m a badass at driving safely." I literally say this to myself when I get in the car. I also keep in mind advice from a Chatty Kathy Uber driver I had a few years ago. He was talking my ear off and asking me a million questions and I admitted to him that I was scared to drive. He pointed out his relaxed shoulders and reminded me that being relaxed is the key to driving, and to anything in life.

I'm getting the hang of being behind the wheel. I haven't ventured onto any major highways yet. I'm not quite ready for a Clueless moment. But I am making strides. For the most part, driving feels freeing. Especially when I'm alone in the car with the windows down, surrounded by gorgeous golden foliage and listening to my driving jam as of late: James Taylor.

I’m reminded of my first joy ride down Highland Ave in Short Hills, NJ, where I grew up. Newly licensed and alone in the car for the first time, a kid with newfound independence. Now, almost 20 years later (!) I am doing school pickup for my own kid without jitters, or navigation for that matter. I am so proud of myself.

AES

P.S. What did you listen to in the car as a kid?

James Taylor reminds me of being in the car with my dad. We also listened to Harry Chapin (this and this), Meatloaf (this), Neil Diamond and Paul Simon. In the car with my mom, my brothers and I sang the words to Billy Joel's “We Didn't Start the Fire” and Queen's “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

Lately Liv has been requesting Beyoncé, Britney Spears, Katy Perry, Mariah Carey and Taylor Swift. While I'm all for promoting female artists, I miss the days of her asking for The Beatles, Phish and Tom Petty.